Becoming

Not as I would be:

Have you ever come to the startling realization that you are not as good as you thought you were?  Or not as good as you would be?  The first time this happened to me was when I was in University.  I was lying in bed, having finished reading my scriptures.  The next thing on my list to do before I could conk out was to get up and brush my teeth.  I lay there for 15 min. arguing with myself.  

Hmm, I need to get up and brush my teeth. But I don’t want to.  Are you too sleepy?  No, I just don’t want to.  But this is good for you.  No one else is going to care, it is solely for your benefit. I don’t care. I don’t want to!!!!

It was the first time I remember actively choosing a choice I did not agree with.  How many of us are shocked to discover that we are disinclined to serve, self centered, judgmental, or quick to find fault?  It is an awful feeling to discover you are less than you would be.

To discover how we can make ourselves the way we want to be, we can look to Christ.

Christ asks us to be like him:

Christ asks us to be like him.  Repeatedly.

After Christ’s resurrection he visited the Nephites and said, “…Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?  Verily I say unto you, even as I am.” (3 Ne 27:27)

Other examples:

3 Ne 12:48
Therefore I would that ye should be perfect, even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.

 Matthew 18:33
Shouldst not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?

What is Christ like:

So … if we are to be like Christ, what is he like?

Charity is the pure love of Christ. (Moroni 7:45)

So what does charity look like? Moroni 7:45 reads, “And charity suffereth long and is kind, and envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh not evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things,  doeth all things, endureth all things.

Christ is all those things. 

Also when Christ visited the Nephites after his resurrection, he said, “And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in no wise receive these things. And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God.” (3 Ne 11:37-38)

Evidently becoming as a little child is rather important. 

King Benjamin, a Book of Mormon prophet, in his farewell speech to his people spoke of the importance of becoming as a little child, describing the process as one who “… becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)

Jean A Stevens, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, said, “These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts.  They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit.  They exemplify humility, obedience, and love.  They are often the first to love and the first to forgive.” (April 2011 Conference, Becoming as a Little Child)

These are all things that describe how Christ is.  These attributes dictated his behavior.

On becoming:

(extensively quoting from Elder Lynn G. Robbins April 2011 General Conference address)

“To be and to do are inseparable… they reinforce and promote each other … To do without to be is hypocrisy, or feigning to be what one is not – a pretender … to be without to do … it is self-deception, believing oneself to be good merely because one’s intentions are good.  Do without be – hypocrisy portrays a false image to others, while be without do portrays a false image to oneself.” (p 103)

“To do’s are activities or evens that can be checked off the list when done.   To be, however, is never done.  You can’t earn checkmarks with to be’s.I can take my wife out for a lovely evening this Friday, which is a to do. But being a good husband is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature … Or as a parent, when can I check a child off my list as done? … Christlike to be’s cannot be seen, but they are the motivating force behind what we do. … Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behaviour more effectively than focusing on do …” (p 104)

So how do we learn to be?:

Pres. Ezra Taft Benson said, “The Lord works for the inside out.  The world works from the outside in.  The world would take people out of the slums.  Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums.  The world would mold men by changing their environment.  Christ changes men, who then change their environment.  The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.” (If Life Were Easy, it Wouldn’t Be Hard, p63)

Christ can help us make the changes that we cannot make on our own.  We can with a little effort change what we do.  It is very difficult for us to change how we feel.

Pres. George Q. Cannon (a member of the First Presidency) said, “Have I imperfections?  I am full of them.  What is my duty?  To pray to God to give me the gifts that will correct these imperfections.  If I am an angry man, it is my duty to pray for charity, which suffereth long and is kind.  Am I an envious man?  It is my duty to seek for charity, which envieth not …. No man ought to say, ‘Oh, I cannot help this; it is my nature.’  He is not justified in it, for the reason that God has promised to give strength to correct these things, and to give gifts that will eradicate them. …  That is the design of God concerning His Church.  He wants His Saints to be perfected in the truth.  For this purpose He gives these gifts, and bestows them upon those who seek after them, in order that they may be a perfect people upon the face of the earth, notwithstanding their many weaknesses, because God has promised to give the gifts that are necessary for their perfection” (If Life Were Easy, it Wouldn’t Be Hard, p59)

I would like to emphasize that God gives these gifts to those who seek after them.  Seeking implies diligence, and effort.  He does not say that God gives them to those who wish for them, or casually ask.

So how do we seek after these attributes?:

It is the doing coupled with the want to be that brings the change.

Elder Oaks said in this past conference, “The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.” (April 2011 General Conference, Desire)

There is great strength in labeling the Christlike be’s in ourselves and those around us … even the ones in embryo.  When we recognize the good within us we bring it to the front of our mind where it will have a greater influence on our actions.

It’s like when you are learning to ride a bike.  You end up where you focus your gaze.  If you focus on the tree, you will hit the tree, if you focus down the road, you will travel down the road. 

Focusing on the good that we are (rather than focusing on the lack within us) causes the good to increase and causes us to want to be that way more.

Conclusions? :

If we see something in ourselves that we don’t like, and want to change, we can ask God for the specific gifts we need to overcome our nature.  Where we cannot change our motivation and feeling, he can.  Changing our nature is not God’s job alone.  With His assistance, it is our doing combined with our wanting to be that brings the change.  And it could take some time.  That is why we’ve been given a lifetime.