December 22, 2010 – I was sitting in the McDonalds at Wal-Mart typing away on my computer at 8 in the morning when I overhear a young child ask “Why is that girl in her pajama’s?” – her grandfathers response … “Because she is a very rude lady”. WHAT??!!
Was I in my pajama’s? Yes. Does that make me rude? No.
He had his descriptors wrong … too casual?, perhaps … lazy?, well no, but I could have understood why he’d think so. I immediately set about thinking of legitimate reasons why I might be in such a setting in such attire. Came up with some good ones too.
Why was I sitting there in my pajamas? Well … I was happily sleeping in when Jessica, my sister, woke me up and reminded me I was going to take her to Wal-Mart before she left to travel home for Christmas (She was leaving in 1 ½ hrs). Thinking thoughts of being a good and loving sister I rolled out of bed, grabbed my laptop and keys and a jacket and poured myself into the car.
At Wal-mart’s McDonalds I ordered a muffin to nibble on as I used my computer to select photos to send to my mom and wrote Christmas letters to my brothers. I was using the time I had to extend myself in love to all those I could (including the McDonalds cashier – managed to get a genuine smile out of her), and not only do I get judged, I get misjudged.
Made me think, I do exactly the same thing. That person over there is an abusive parent, an unfit driver, ignorant, careless, inconsiderate, or unobservant, or withdrawn. This insta-labeling happens in the other direction as well – creating paragons of patience, intelligence, whit, mercy, and perfection. Really, any impressions we gain of a person seeing them across the aisle in the Super Store is, as a rule, going to be inaccurate. Even after spending some time with a person it is impossible to be at all accurate in judging their motivations, so why do we try and do it when we are oblivious to all but the obvious and are missing most of the important bits.
Well, maybe we do it to try to fit what we see (reality), with how we think (our reality). Right and wrong are based on our perceptions, and our perceptions are based on the society in which we have been raised and our experiences.
Why ever we do it, I want to stop – wish me luck, I don’t think it is possible.
I agree its a difficult thing to do.
ReplyDeleteWilliam George Jordan observed: "We don't see where a man aims only the target he hits." We are apt, he says, to read character as a proof-reader does a book--noticing ever typo, error etc. instead of the beauty and majesty of the story.
That is a proof-reader's job--but we are not called by the Lord to be proof-readers (that's his job because he is almighty) our job is to 'build the kingdom' by building each other up to reach our god-like potential.